If you can't fight 'em, join 'em! I've decided to become a Tea Partier. Why? Because I want my freedom! Give me freedom from the grasping tentacles of government and the insidious labor unions (part and parcel of the same greedy Beast)! Give me freedom from untainted food, drinkable water, and breathable air. Give me the freedom to have to work 12-hour days, alongside my children, in unsafe working conditions in exchange for nearly worthless company scrip that can only be spent at the outrageously overpriced company store. Give people everywhere the freedom to deny me (or anyone) jobs, housing, or even food because of my brown skin (or whatever other trait, imagined or real, might offend them). Give me freedom from roads and schools and libraries and firefighting (should I happen to irresponsibly forget to pay my bill) and all the other instruments of oppression employed by the tyrannical Beast. Freedom, I say, is what I want, because I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!
